What it Means to be Vulnerable..

Part one ; the intro: Everyone has a vulnerability..

Vulnerable...being susceptible to physical or emotional wounds, from the Latin word, vulnerare. Which simply means "to wound".

Everyone has a vulnerability, whether they are attuned to it or not. I know mine, I don’t talk about it much in a serious way. But that’s what we do sometimes, joke about it, deflect it. But I’ll say it now in a serious way. My vulnerability, where you or anyone else could hurt me, is a physical one. My legs, specifically. They take a beating daily, and I wonder when they will finally give on me. And if they do, exposes my lesser, but still hard to face, vulnerability. Who will want me if I’m broken? It’s hard to face those thoughts. But facing them is the only way we have to tackle them.

I recently spent time with Jacob, the artist of Vulnerable Monsters, and learned about how he faces his vulnerabilities, and how he wants to help others to do the same. So here we go, we’re exposing our weaknesses for you...

Part two ; the interview: Meaning behind the monsters..

What made you create Vulnerable Monsters?

The idea for Vulnerable Monsters started on a train ride with my daughter. She was drawing and asked me to join her. I ended up drawing a weird sea monster and I thought it looked pensive. I started making a few more with pensive and vulnerable looks along with a sentence or two about what they might be experiencing. It took a moment to see a lot of them were autobiographical. Someone told me it looked like a “thing”, meaning something that was worth sharing. I really loved doing it and thought I’d share it on Instagram. I had never used Instagram before and was a little skeptical. The drawings got a little popular, and I was like, “maybe this is a thing”.

What made you choose the name?

I’ve been looking into the concept of vulnerability for a little while. People like Brene Brown have done some great work on the subject, and it’s had a very big impact on me. I spent so much of my life trying to be invincible when I obviously wasn’t. About a year ago, I decided to stop pretending and just be real. When I thought about what I was drawing, the name just came to me. It fits with what I was trying to go for in my illustrations.

For how long have you been creating your monsters?

That train ride was In August, so just a few months.

Part three ; the interview: The monsters are alive!

Could you share with me a bit about the characters you draw? Do they individually have meaning to you?

The characters really resonate with me. Sometimes I think about them a lot before I draw. Sometimes I just get into a flow and see what comes out. Often times, I start drawing something and I stop because it doesn’t connect with me either on an aesthetic level or emotional level. I have a ton of “failed monsters” . For the ones I share, they are characters I feel like I start to know. As I am drawing, I am looking and seeing who they are. What is relatable about them. I hope to spend more time with a few of the characters in the form of a book or similar project. I just haven’t gotten a routine down yet.

Part four ; the interview: The monster’s creator shares his secrets

So, I’ve struggled with a variety of physical and mental illnesses for much of my life. While I was starting Vulnerable Monsters I was going through a deep depression and drawing was one of the few things that felt meaningful. Putting energy into this project might have been a life saver. It gave me something to hang onto while I went through treatment. I also had a lot of love and support from family which helped to, but there was something about feeling productive and sharing my work and feelings which helped me heal. At the same time. I was also having a flare up of Crohn’s disease. It’s an autoimmune disease that effects the digestive system but can also impact other parts of the body. I was in pretty constant pain while I was doing the project which also contributed to the depression. Right now, I’m actually feeling pretty normal which is amazing. It’s been a long time since I simply felt okay. There were times when I never felt I would get better and I think I was trying to see if I could turn Vulnerable Monsters into a job so I wouldn’t have to leave the house. Now that I’m better, I would still love this to turn into a way to pay the bills but I am happy to go to work and engage with the world.

Part five ; the interview: Monsters have something to say.

What drove you to start the blog?

Good question! I’m not 100% sure. My dad used to say, “ do what makes you anxious first and what makes you money second . Everything else will take care of itself”. I think the blog was a way to get a lot of things off my chest that I had been anxious about. I was tired of hiding them and it to be known. I’m a pretty introverted person and have never been very open, so I was trying to lean into my own vulnerability. I had also been inspired by some other bloggers and podcasters who had shared their own stories. I was inspired to join the crowd because I thought it could also help other people be more comfortable seeking help. I’ve been happy to have a few people share with me that they could relate and feel less isolated after reading the blog.

Part Six ; the interview: the future of such vulnerable monsters.

I see you now create personalized monsters as well? Can you share a little bit about the types of requests you are receiving?

I’ve gotten some really great and random requests. Unfortunately, I just don’t have time to get to all of them but I’m trying to catch up. I think my favorite was a request for two Bigfoots kissing. With the added detail that they both be male, and should have their eyes closed and not be smiling. It was so specific that I had to take a crack at it. I feel like people can get a vision In their head that means something hyper personal and it is really cool to try to bring that to life.

Can you tell me a little bit about the upcoming card campaign?

So, I hope to build Vulnerable Monsters into something that can help me pay the bills and also be an inspiration to people to connect with their monstrous feelings. The ones they don’t want to deal with. Kind of like the monster under the bed. (That is on my list to make). I thought about different things that would be more utilitarian than just prints. That’s when I thought of greeting cards. For me, sending a personal note is a really vulnerable act. I want to combine the joy of illustration with the action of communicating real feelings in the real world. I’m just testing them now to see if they are viable. If people like them, then I’m gonna work on expanding the collection.

Are there any other future plans coming up for your Monsters?

I kind of mentioned this above, but can I say that I want to create “tools of vulnerability”. Things like journals, cards, workbooks, etc. Things that are fun to look at but also help people Interact with their own monsters and share them with other people. I want to create things that make them feel more courageous when approaching their own shadows.

Part Seven : Gratitude

I thank Jacob so much for spending time with me. Facing our perceived flaws and monsters is not easy to do. I’m very social but also very private. It takes quite a lot for me to feel safe to share anything of my life. Especially in the age of social media. If I’m sharing my perceived flaws with you, then I feel safe with you. And I thank you for creating an environment that I could feel safe in. I’m still working on tackling these monsters, but I will. Vulnerable Monsters has done exactly what he’s set out to do, inspire me to start sharing more of myself. Talk about the monster on my back. Thank you Jacob, it’s people like you who’s inspiration we can all benefit from. Thank you for making our Vulnerable Monsters beautiful, an open wound no longer...

You can read his wonderful blog, look at his amazing monsters and contact him at;

https://www.vulnerablemonsters.com/

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