Bigfoot’s New Year’s Resolutions 

In between having to hide from you silly humans this season . I took a moment to think about what my resolutions would be for this New Year. This is just a few of the things I came up with:

  • Continue to leave silly structures around to make you wonder about. An arch here, a bend there. Did I make them, did one of you make them? Who knows😊
  • Take a long hot bath. I'm tired of hearing references to my smell. I smell you too you know, it’s not as awesome as you think it is. 
  • Leave real footprints around,  come on people, only finding one somewhere? Do you think I’m hoping around the forest? 
  • Lose weight. I think one article said I must be 1200 pounds. I'm not entirely sure what that means, but it does not sound good.( Maybe you should leave a scale instead of the peanut butter).
  • Get in better shape. Seriously,  it takes a lot of energy moving that fast so you can't get a clear picture, do you know how fast you have. to go to reach blurry? And dancing around those game cams. Forget about it.
  • Start drinking more lemon juice. All that howling and whooping makes me lose my voice.
  • Become a bear whisperer. I'm completely over being bit and scratched just to gather some hair samples. You should appreciate how much effort I use to mess with you.
  • Get some music lessons. If your knocking is supposed to be a mimic of mine? Then we both suck and you need them too. Just throwing it out there. 
  • Put out an information brochure to ease your women’s fears. News flash, aliens don’t probe and we don’t want your women. What the hell man? Really? 

And finally, I appreciate how hard you work to find me as much as I work so you don’t.  Let's both make one of our resolutions to be upping our game. And may the best man/beast win.


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