And Now..Again, Because He’s Bossy. Another Note From Bigfoot..


Picture from Flathead Beacon

There are a couple things a hominid, such as myself can’t take. And when they all come together in one month? Well, then, we need to vent our distaste. Maybe more than once. Definitely not more than three times . How many weeks are in this month again?

Anyway I digress. Last week,  I discussed my number one least favorite things. Fourth of July. All the fireworks, barbecues and potential fire hazards get me itchy. Like a lice breakout itchy. You can shave your head and lock that stuff down, not me. 

So after apocalyptic fire, comes heat. Not just any heat. But apocalyptic heat. In the same week, I have been forced to suffer both. The unrelenting heat lasted for more than a week in some of my favorite summer hideaways. They try to say there is no such thing as global warming. They won’t understand until maybe they see my hair on a hot and humid day. The strands look like spaghetti cooked in an easy bake oven. Here’s about all I can tell you about global warming. 1. It’s happening.2. Shit is melting 3. I’m not the only one that’s gonna look like a Chia Pet around here soon. 


Melissa H. Photo 

There are very few ways my species can cool down from the heat and the stench of it all. (Wait that stench is me, no wonder I’m single and alone) There is no AC in the 🌳 forest. We can find shade. Hahaha, that’s funny it’s all shade. Swim a bit. Preferably not in a hot spring. And yeah,  well, that’s it. We can’t shave, that would be ridiculous. We don’t even know what we look like without all that hair. I’m not going to be the first one in the area to find out either. Have you seen apes 🦍 hairless areas? It’s not pretty. 

   

From Pinterest              

The other issue that we face while battling this hell on earth is bugs. Stinging horrible mosquitoes, nats, etc. one of the reasons we make our nests covered with leaf and twig covers is to protect us from the bugs. We also sometimes rub mud on ourselves to relieve the itches. We don’t have Deet Hairspray laying around. When it’s hot we have to rest for the heat of the day and at night we have to stay covered from the bugs. So we store lots of fruits in our nests. It’s often why you don’t see us for awhile. So, if you’re following us and we can’t get to our nests again? Well then, we are up the creek. 

I guess this open letter is to one, tell you to stop making things melt and two, tell you to stop whining about the heat because clearly I have it way worse..

Goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow..

Sincerely,

👣


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