Night of the Debauchery.. I Mean Demon
Warning, this entire post is either a spoiler alert, a trigger, or me saving you from the worst hour plus of your life. However you want to look at it.
I’m sitting here collecting my thoughts on the visual assault I just was a victim to. I’ll start by saying, it’s showing on Amazon Prime, so there were no warning labels like say, this movie contains gratuitous...everything. Exept for swearing, there was not actually a lot of swearing in this. Not that there needed to be. They pretty much had that R rating nailed down.
The title scene was by far the only watchable one. A little gross for some, but still cool. The arm was ripped off a man and the blood oozed down into a giant Bigfoot footprint. That my friends is one of the best cinematic displays of click bait I’ve ever scene. Now cue the ridiculous 70s happy music and nature scenes. I know the release says 1980, but trust me, this has 70s all over it.
The next scene up was a couple having relations In a van. It was just one itty bitty step away from porn. And now that I think about it. The woman’s yells/moans at seeing Bigfoot sounded exactly like something you would expect to hear in one. ( I’m assuming, because I, myself , have never seen one). Whatever it sounded like, it wasn’t Jamie Lee Curtis or her mother.
Then it finally cuts to the stars of this cinematic triumph, a teacher and a group of students learning about Bigfoot. They are being shown a video in class of some footage recovered from a possible Bigfoot attack. Which clearly is the first time the found footage idea was used in a movie. I think. The teacher decides to take the whole class on a field assignment to the Big Guy’s lair, (because he’s the stupidest man who ever lived), and everything goes down hill from there.
The first night there while camping, The Professor tells them about reported Bigfoot attacks by the camp fire. He tells them all one about a biker who pulls over for a pee break, gets attacked by way of Bigfoot jumping out of a two inch high bush and rips his, well, you know what..right off. Okay, two things bother me here. One, how the hell can no one see Bigfoot behind a bush that low In daylight and if they really can hide that way, then that’s why we aren’t finding them, because the whole notion of it is ridiculous, and two, why would he even want to be there? Let alone ripping manly bits off? Okay wait maybe three, what professor is going to tell his class that one? Who wrote this?
Now, where was I? I apologize, reliving that whole scene for you was like being violated all over again. Meanwhile, two bushes over from the school campsite was a cult of some kind they stumbled on looking for wood or something..and they were like Shaggy and Scooby-Doo with, let’s get out of here, but the campsite was only two bushes over. Now, I know you are reading this thinking I’m exaggerating about the two bush distance, but I assure you I’m not. I’m not that clever.
Let me just try to sum up the rest of this movie real quick for you with bullets. Cause I’m going to need to call the therapist soon and maybe take another shower. So here we go;
- Bigfoot rips out entrails and whacks everyone In the face with them. (Maybe another penis too), I got confused during the melee
- There is an assault and a Bigfoot baby
- Bigfoot is really Lou Ferrigno from the Hulk
- Everyone stands in front of windows where Bigfoot can reach them, even the professor
- Nobody believes that anyone saw the Bigfoot
- Lots of pretty nature scenes and lots of 70s ridiculous/porn music
- Actual porn
- The camera with the good pictures hits the ground, and all the film falls right out. (Okay, that probably would happen)
I think I covered the rest of everything but I swear if I remember anything new I will add it to the bullets directly, so check back occasionally. I wouldn’t want to deprive you of any of the goodness that is this movie. I also attached the full movie in case you dared to watch it yourself, If you do, count the bushes. My math will hold up.
Night of the Demon full movie:
That’s it folks, goodnight and have a pleasant tomorrow..
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You would think that someone that went through so much pain staking trouble to make an accurate depiction of a Sasquatch would use a better story line. Oops. My eyes rolled. Did you hear them roll? They roll a lot. Mama says they gonna stick up there.
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